The problem with being bad

From Mere Christianity by CS Lewis (88).

Remember that, as I said, the right direction leads not only to peace but to knowledge. When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him. When a man is getting worse, he understands his own badness less and less. A moderately bad man knows he is not very good: a thoroughly bad man thinks he is all right. This is common sense, really. You understand sleep when you are awake, not while you are sleeping. You can see mistakes in arithmetic when your mind is working properly: while you are making them you cannot see them. You can understand the nature of drunkenness when you are sober, not when you are drunk. Good people know about both good and evil: bad people do not know about either.

I’ve often thought about this problem. If I am bad, evil, ignorant or whatever– the worst part of it is that I don’t realize it. This has always been a common sense knowledge that has bothered me. I like the way CS Lewis put it. It takes my thinking and makes it so much more clear. It’s like a wall that’s blocking me from getting to the next tier– but I don’t know that the wall even exists. It’s really fightening. I might go so far as to say that this is my greatest fear.